I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
