Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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