just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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