Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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