we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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