Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
