I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
