So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
