can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
