Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
