If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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