Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's official drugs can't kill me
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
