Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
