i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
