Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
