yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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