Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
