I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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