So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
