Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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