I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
