Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
