it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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