man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
