My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
