I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
