I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
