I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
