He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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