All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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