I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
