I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
