Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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