Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
