I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
