I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize