My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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