i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
