remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize