drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
