Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
