Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
