my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
