Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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