Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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