just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
