I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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