No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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