hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
