well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
