Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
