Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
