Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
