I skipped work to stalk him.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
