Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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