i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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