I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
No subtext here. People are naked.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
being pregnant is like rehab
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
