dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
